


When Love Took a Train Headed South

by gryffindorJ



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Frottage, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-03
Updated: 2008-09-03
Packaged: 2019-08-22 18:24:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16603217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryffindorJ/pseuds/gryffindorJ
Summary: Remus has been away for six years, after a chance encounter at an inn with Sirius, leads to them spending the weekend together. After six years is their love still alive? Was it ever even there to start with?





	When Love Took a Train Headed South

**Author's Note:**

> Written for R/S Games 2008. 
> 
> Prompt: Taurus (April 21 — May 20)  
>  _Like a garden that has endured a long winter, your leaves have shriveled and your stems have withered. But with Venus now in your sign, your zest for life will return and inspire an old and nearly forgotten dream. A revival has begun._
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful brit picker blpaintchart and my beta midnightblu88.

_Sodding beard._ Remus scratched roughly along his jaw, again. He should have shaved it earlier but something about his mum's endless comments about it covering his handsome face made him keep it. Just while he was visiting her anyway. 

Remus took a sip from his Caffrey's, thinking he would get rid of the dreadful thing as soon as he was finished. He would go to his room and shave. He shuddered at the thought of the derelict room. It was not only dank, dusty and unkempt, but it was above the kitchen. Hundreds of years of cooking grease soaked up through the floorboards, coating the walls and leaving the distinct smell of onions. 

Draining his last drop, he placed a note on the bar then stood to move through the growing crowd of patrons and smoke. He almost passed a man sitting alone at a table, head down, concentrating on the paper. Remus peered closer at the man's dark head bowed over what turned out to be the crossword puzzle page. The puzzle was half complete with neat, square handwriting. The script and the hair Remus knew in an instant. A smile spread across his face. 

"Pub's not exactly a place for crossword puzzles," Remus said. 

"Sod off," the man replied, not bothering to look up. Remus couldn't help but laugh. 

"Faultless manners I see, Sirius." Sirius's head shot up at his name being called. His brow furrowed as he squinted his eyes, looking at Remus with disdain. Remus felt himself blush under the gaze and hoped to God his beard covered it up. He felt his grin go from happy to sheepish. 

"Moony?" Sirius finally said, his voice filled with surprise. Remus's blush grew with the use of his old nickname. 

"I thought you'd forgotten me," Remus admitted. 

"No. Never!" Sirius stood embracing Remus, pulling him in tight. "God!" Sirius gripped Remus by the shoulders inspecting his face. "It's the smoke and the beard, it threw me for a minute." 

"Yeah." Remus shrugged. 

"Sit here." Sirius released him, pulling a chair next to his own. "Want a drink?"

"That'd be great. Whatever you're having." Remus felt the nerves in his body tense happily as Sirius went to get them drinks. Sirius returned from the bar, two drinks in hand, grinning. 

"Prestidigitation," Remus said. 

"Huh?"  
"On your puzzle right here. Twenty-six down," Remus indicated. 

"Right," Sirius said, sitting and crossing his legs. "Always finish a bit faster with you around."

"After all this time, you must be quicker." 

"Sadly, no." Sirius winked. "What's with the sandy blond mess all over your face?" Remus laughed, scratching at his chin self-consciously.

"It was for work," Remus said. "I was researching cold sea fisherman and the nerve damage they have in their hands."

"A beard is clearly important for this." Sirius snorted. 

"You tosser." Remus rolled his eyes. "It's so they'll talk to me. I look more like one of them. Some bloke isn't going to spill his problems to a boy in a jacket with elbow patches and a tie. If I look more like them and work beside them, they'll trust me more." 

"Right. Can't go around advertising your own mess of problems so they empathize. You don't want them to trust you because they pity you. "

"Exactly. And my hands weren't ever a problem."

"I know. I remember," Sirius said, his voice sounding strained and thick. He took a long drink of his lager. "Are you staying here?"

"Room seventeen."

"Oh, Christ. How'd you get stuck with such a shit room?" Sirius looked revolted. 

"They said it was all they had," Remus said. 

"Rubbish." Sirius stood and looked around the room. Seeing who he was searching for, he strode over to them and had a quick word. He walked back to Remus smiling widely.

"Got you a new room," he said. "Room eight across from mine. It'll cost you the same." 

"How did you do that?"

"My uncle owns the place."

"Of course." Remus looked down and away. Somehow the mention of Sirius's uncle brought the conversation to a dead halt. 

"I'm on my way to Devon for the weekend," Sirius said after a few moments of silence. "James's parents are having a party for their fiftieth anniversary."

"Why Devon?" 

"Their cottage is there, remember?" Sirius said. 

"Who lives in the lake district?" 

"That was James's great uncle Astor. The one with the thing for geese, so his garden was always covered in shit," Sirius said. 

"Right." 

"Come with me. James and Lily, they're still together. They would love to see you." 

"No, I couldn't turn up unexpectedly. It's a celebration-"

"We're staying in the guest house, there's an extra bed," Sirius insisted, explaining how easy it would all be. Remus found himself saying yes to Sirius. He _always_ said yes to Sirius. Even after six years.

~~~**~~~

Remus woke scratching his face. He hadn't bothered to shave last night, but now he couldn't wait any longer. He rolled out of bed and pulled his toiletries bag from his rucksack. He threw on a t-shirt and left the room to walk down to the loo.

He searched through his small bag, emptying its entire contents looking for his razor. That along with his shaving cream was missing. Even his small pair of scissors to trim his beard was gone. 

He stared into the mirror at his reflection, trying to decide if he really needed to shave or not. He was definitely tired of the thing. He'd have to borrow a razor from Sirius. 

Padding back down the hall, he knocked lightly at Sirius's door. No answer. He knocked a bit harder. 

"Go way!" he heard Sirius yell. 

"Sirius, it's me," Remus said, pressing closely to the door. He heard Sirius groan as he got out of bed. The lock clicked and the door swung open. 

Remus looked quickly from Sirius's sleep rumpled hair, to his scruffy jaw, down his bare chest to the trail of black hairs beginning around his navel. The hair was dishevelled from sleep (Sirius usually slept on his belly). Had the hair been smoothed down Remus would have known he had disturbed Sirius's morning wank…. that is, if he still _had_ to get off every morning. He let his eyes flick a little further down for a moment to see the tented fabric against Sirius's morning glory. He looked quickly back to Sirius's face. 

"My razor is missing, may I borrow yours?" 

Sirius pulled Remus in the room and reached behind him, closing the door. He walked over to his bag and pulled out his shaving kit. Remus felt a jolt of arousal as he stared at Sirius's mostly naked body while his back was to him; he had looked at the two tattoos on his body. One on his left shoulder blade he knew- the curving tail in an eternal pattern, the sleek head of the beast, with its ears pointed. Sirius turned Remus tried to see what was on his upper arm, but he was distracted by a rather vicious looking scar on his elbow.

As Sirius walked back, Remus politely looked away from the scar and from the smooth lean body. 

"It's a shame," Sirius said, stepping close to Remus. Remus felt his chest growing tight. 

"What is?" Remus shifted his footing, trying to hide his growing erection. 

"Shaving the beard so soon?" 

"I've had it for over a year," Remus protested. "Bloody thing never stopped itching from day one." 

"Thought we'd give it a test run first," Sirius said. He leaned closely to Remus, almost bringing their faces together. Remus felt his lips push forward of their own accord in anticipation of a kiss. At the last moment Sirius moved his head to the side to rub his stubbled jaw to Remus's bearded one. 

"Remember our first kiss, Moony?" Sirius said very quietly. Remus nodded, his throat felt too constricted with want to speak. "Tell me what you remember."

"It was the start of our last year at school," Remus said, after allowing the memory to clear. The thought of the cool autumn day came easily. 

"Yes." 

"We were out on the grounds, just you and me. James was with the Headmaster. They were having tea because he was Head Boy." 

"Mhm." Remus could feel the vibration from the back of Sirius's throat as he made this small sound. Remus licked his lips, thinking of how it happened. 

"You had on your waistcoat, the top buttons of your shirt were undone, and your sleeves rolled up to right below your elbows."

"What did you have on?" Sirius asked, brushing his lips ever so slightly to Remus's ear. He could feel his cock pulsing. 

"Same as you, almost," Remus said. "I still wore my coat. You had that cricket bat of yours. You and James had been playing around before he went in."

"Tell me more," Sirius said with a heavy breath. 

"We were by the walnut tree. You were picking up the hardened nuts from the ground, throwing them up and hitting them. Again and again they went flying across the grounds."

"You leaned against the trunk watching me," Sirius said. "You laughed when I sent one flying into the Grounds Keeper's shed." Sirius pressed his hard prick to Remus's thigh. Remus wanted to reach for it, take it in his hand, but he swallowed hard, continuing the story ignoring his own rising desire. 

"You walked over to me and leaned across me, like you are now. I pushed my back so hard against the tree I thought I would sink into it. You looked me in the eyes and asked if we were going to do this for another year, and I said, 'I hope not.' You then kissed me on the bridge of my nose." Sirius kissed the bridge of Remus's nose in reply to the words. 

"You traced your way down my nose with the tip of yours." Sirius followed those words with the action as well. 

"And you kissed me." Sirius's mouth hovered over Remus's. They were so close Remus could feel the heat from his lips and his cock brushed by Sirius's thigh. 

"You kissed me, Moony." 

Remus was unsure if he pushed his jaw forward or Sirius leaned in the last bit but their lips met. 

It was a long, slow kiss. All lips at first, then small flicks of their tongues. Sirius ran his hand across the back of Remus's neck. Remus slowly slipped his tongue in Sirius's mouth exactly as he had the first time they kissed. Sirius sighed contentedly. His fingers traced down Remus's neck, stopping at the silver chain he wore. 

They leaned against one another, their mouths breaking apart. Sirius slid his hand along the chain, pulling it out from under Remus's t-shirt. He smirked, looking at the cross and the Saint John Ogilvie medal that hung from the chain. 

"Practising again?" 

"No," Remus replied. "I was at my mum's and I wear it around her. I forgot to take it off when I left."

"How is the papist?" 

"Well," Remus said, his lips twitching at Sirius's old nickname for his mother. 

Suddenly, someone banged loudly at the door. 

"What?" Sirius almost barked. 

"Mr. Black, sorry to disturb you," someone said from the other side of the door. "They say you're illegally parked. You must come and move your vehicle, sir."

"All right, thank you." He looked back at Remus, their bodies still together. Remus could feel his cock straining, pushing against Sirius's body, but the moment was broken. 

"I'd better shave and you should go," Remus said, taking the shaving kit from Sirius's hand.

"We'll leave after breakfast," Sirius said pulling back from Remus and turning to go get his keys. Remus opened the door to go out. 

"I'll meet you downstairs, I need a shower and a wank first," Sirius called after him. 

Remus was grinning as he got back into the bathroom. He opened up Sirius's bag to see his own razor, scissors and cream in it. 

"Still a sod," Remus said to himself as he turned on the tap.

~~~**~~~

"You still have your motorbike?" Remus said as they stepped out of the inn. The air felt especially fresh on his newly shorn face.

"She's not around," Sirius said, putting his hand on the small of Remus's back. They ran across the road, dodging traffic. 

They walked a few paces and stopped in front of a sleek black car. Remus couldn't help but smile at the sex oozing from the car. "It's the Batmobile," he said, running his hand across it. 

"The what?" Sirius said, looking up from unlocking his door. 

"The Batmobile," Remus repeated. 

"Well, get in Robin, we're running late." Sirius threw his bag in the back seat and got in. 

Remus settled into his seat as Sirius started the car. It didn't roar like his motorcycle; it purred. Sirius quickly pulled away from the kerb and shot into traffic, changing the radio station quickly as he did so. First the lyrics "I work till I ache my bones. At the end of the-" blared and Sirius quickly switched it to "It would make me believe what tomo-"

"Oh God!" Sirius sounded revolted as he switched to the next station. A soulful tune came from the radio, and Sirius settled back into his black leather seat, grinning as he sang, "The one you've never seen before." 

"Music taste is the same," Remus said. 

"Some things never change, Moony." Sirius smiled. "I can still call you Moony, right?"

"Course you can." Remus felt his cheeks pink a bit at the memory of them as boys together. "You're the only one that did after too long."

"So, Moony, you've finished your Master's degree? You went back to Uni?" Sirius asked. 

"No, I still have my dissertation to write," Remus replied. "I started up again a year after I left Oxford."

"The year you left me all alone at Trinity," Sirius said.

"I didn't leave you all alone. You had James," Remus protested. 

"Right." Sirius's jaw clenched as he said the word. "Let's not talk about it anyway, it was a long time ago." 

"Where were you travelling from to stop here outside London?" 

"I was coming south. I just moved north and after the weekend I'll move into my flat," Sirius said. "I'm going to be working at a law firm."

"Going to be a solicitor and make your fortune?" Remus said with sarcasm. Sirius laughed at Remus's question then pushed the car into fifth gear, making it go faster. 

"I'll be a shoulder to cry on for heartbroken wives," Sirius winked and Remus laughed. 

"Not husbands?" Remus countered, and Sirius began to laugh harder. 

The drive went relatively quickly. Sirius had no regard for the speed limit all the way from Northampton to Devon, not that Remus expected him to. 

Sirius didn't slow through the narrow, tree-lined roads. He only slowed as he turned onto the gravel drive. He sped through the gates, past the large main house to the smaller guesthouse, which sat between the pool and fishing pond. 

Sirius walked to the door, and Remus followed a few steps behind him. Sirius didn't bother to knock; he walked straight into the house as if it were his own. Which, knowing how the Potters were with Sirius, they had never allowed him to believe otherwise. 

They stood in a small entrance with a small row of coats hanging on hooks and three pairs of wellies lined up underneath the hooks. 

"Honey, I'm home!" Sirius called out as Remus shut the door behind him.

"'Bout bloody time!" James said coming round the corner and down the three stairs that led to the entrance. As he reached Sirius, he stopped suddenly at the sight of Remus behind him. 

"Blimey!" James said. He pushed past Sirius to Remus. Remus put out his hand to shake it but James ignored it, pulling him into tight hug. "It's been ages. Sirius, where the hell did you find him?"

"Nice to see you too," Sirius said. "He was at the same inn as me last night. I dragged him along." 

"This is brilliant!" James said with a big smile. Remus smiled back. He wanted to laugh with joy at how James's glasses and hair had remained unchanged. If he was different at all he was more handsome his face, more mature. Remus would place money on his shirt having been around so long ago. "Lily, get out here! Sirius brought a surprise!"

"What is it?" Lily said, yelling back as she rounded the corner. When she saw Remus, her eyes widened and she said at a pitch that only bats could hear, "Remus!" She ran to him, giving a hug that was equally as enthusiastic as James’s. 

"Oh God. I'm so happy it's you," Lily said, releasing Remus. "I thought for a minute he brought that cow Rois- Ow! James, you stepped on my foot!"

"Been drinking already this morning, Lily?" Sirius said sweetly as he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. 

"Being with the Potters is one drinking time after another. His dad pulled out the Pimms around ten," Lily said. 

"Sirius?" said a girl rounding the corner Lily had just come from. Sirius turned and she ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. Remus saw Sirius look frantically at James for some sort of clue as to who this girl was.

"You remember my cousin Kate, right, Remus?" James said. 

"I think so," Remus replied. 

"Who could forget Katie?" Sirius said with a great deal of charm, smiling at Kate as she pulled away. 

"I didn't know you were coming," she said to Sirius, not caring for anyone else. "Are you staying at the house?"

"No, I'll be here with James and Lily," Sirius said. 

"Oh," Kate said, looking disappointed for a moment. "Perhaps I can move my things over here then."

"All the beds are taken, love, sorry," Sirius said. "I'm sure we'll see one another enough."

"We should go for a swim," Kate suggested, "like we did last time." 

"You better hurry back to the house," James said, looking at Kate. "Your mum will be wondering where you've been." 

Kate gave one last seductive look to Sirius and left heading back to the house. 

"You shagged my cousin?" James said as the rest of them moved up the stairs into the lounge. 

"I 'spose so, I don't really remember too well. Must have been really pissed," Sirius said. "Didn't you when you were kids or something?" 

"James! You slept with Kate?" Lily said sounding horrified. 

"We're hardly related, she's my _second_ cousin. And I don’t really remember. Must have been really pissed," James said giving Lily an innocent smile. She swatted him on the arse before allowing herself to be taken in his arms.

Sirius smiled at both of them before leading Remus to their room to put their bags away.

~~~**~~~

The football match on the telly went almost completely unnoticed. James and Sirius, annoyed the match they had wanted to watch wasn't on, went outside. Remus and Lily, who sat on the couch talking, could hear them whooping and laughing as they hit golf balls off the deck.

"James will start his job next week, and I will start mine in two," Lily said finishing her story. 

"How long have you lived together?" Remus asked. 

"Two years." Lily pulled her thick red hair off her neck, pulling it into a ponytail. "So, Remus, what happened to you?" 

"Happened to me how?" 

"One day you were going to live with Sirius, and the next you were gone and he was one sad puppy. Moping around, hardly going to class. Always with James or at James's place."

"How long did that last?" Remus asked, feeling his stomach twist a bit.

"I don't remember. I know it had stopped by time he had his accident. So tell me, where you’ve been?" Lily said again.

Remus wanted to ask about this accident but didn't think it was the right time to bring it up. He told Lily about Uni, what he'd been studying. That this was his last year, most of which would be spent writing his dissertation.

"I'm so glad," Lily said squeezing Remus's knee. "We're all happy now. Maybe now that you're back we can all be friends, again, like we were in the summers when you two would come and visit at James's house." 

"You mean when Sirius and I watched him repeatedly throw himself at the sweet girl next door?" Remus quirked a smile and Lily laughed. 

Sirius walked into the room from the back terrace, heading for his room. He returned a minute later flipping silver lighter through his fingers. He gave Lily and Remus a devious smile as he walked back outside onto the terrace. 

Lily turned around quickly on the sofa. Kneeling on the cushion, she banged her hand against the large window that was behind them. "Hey!" she said, getting their attention. 

James and Sirius turned to look at her. 

"You can't smoke out there, James!"

"What?" James said cupping his hand over his ear.

"Smoke," Lily pantomimed. "Your parents will kill you if you put a burn in the railing again!" 

James walked over to where the window opened, and Lily lifted up the sash. He bent over, bringing his face even with hers. "We're not smoking, darling. Now you two just go on chatting." 

He turned and walked back toward Sirius. Sirius looked over his shoulder at James then at Remus through the window. His grin was devilish. 

Sirius handed the driving iron to James then placed the golf ball on the tee. It looked thicker than normal, but it was hard to tell in the dark night. Sirius then pulled the silver lighter and held it to the golf ball, which immediately erupted in flames. 

Lily gasped, and Remus looked rapt at James. James took a quick confident swing, connecting with the flaming ball. Remus's eye were transfixed watching the fire soar through the air, hoping it would go out before it landed anywhere and caught fire to the woods around the house. The ball began to sink, still on fire. Then suddenly it went out. James and Sirius started to laugh and cheer. 

"See, I told you I could make it to the lake!" James crowed, and Sirius clasped him on the shoulder, still laughing.

~~~**~~~

Remus took off his trousers as he prepared for bed. It was nice being with Sirius, who he didn't have to worry about gawking at his scars or asking uncomfortable questions. He felt warm and happy as he slipped into his bed.

Sirius threw off his shirt and trousers, and then got in his own bed. "Small beds. Like we're boys again," Remus said. 

"Yep," Sirius yawned. "Night," he said, flicking off the lamp that sat on the table between their beds. 

Remus ran his fingers down his leg, feeling one of the thick scars on the outside of his thigh. He thought about how he had returned to school after Christmas hols their first year, walking with a cane. James and Sirius had been curious before about why Remus went to the doctor so often but never made him feel uncomfortable about it. The use of the cane had brought their curiosity to a boiling point. 

He laughed as he thought about them cornering him in the library and asking pointedly about the cane. Remus had lied badly before, saying he had twisted his ankle on a patch of ice over the break. Sirius told him they knew that was rubbish, that they knew who his father was and they'd found the article of his arrest in an old newspaper. Remus had felt sick in that moment. James said it didn't matter to them and when Remus was ready to tell them they were ready. 

Two nights later he told them why he had the cane, why he had the scars on his legs. That as a child, his father owed money to the wrong sort, and he didn't pay for quite some time. They had broken into their dingy flat and severely beaten Remus, who was only four at the time, as a way of intimidating Remus's father. They had left him with a shattered knee and two broken femurs. Remus had been having surgeries ever since. His most recent one, which occurred over Christmas hols, had been the last one for what they all hoped was a long while. 

What Remus hadn't anticipated, nor the doctors, were the leg cramps, which would consume him nightly for almost weeks at a time. Remus would wake up screaming and gripping his legs. James and Sirius had always stood by him. Sirius would pull him out of bed to walk his legs loose while James would run and get him glasses of water. Those late nights after Remus had awoken in pain usually turned out to be the best he'd ever experienced. Sneaking out of their rooms, going to the kitchens, planning their next prank, doing their next prank. It was brilliant. 

They were the truest of Remus's friends and had always proved so time and again. It was nice to be back.

~~~**~~~

When Remus woke the next morning Sirius was already gone from their room. Remus showered and dressed. As he walked to the kitchen, the smell of eggs wafted into this nose and the sound of voices floated into his ears.

"You can't marry her," he heard Sirius say. "What are you going to do after that?"

"Be married, have children," James replied. 

Remus stepped into the kitchen. Sirius sat at the counter eating his plate of eggs, and James stood on the other side, slouching against the counter. 

"Commitment," Sirius said with disdain and gave a shudder. 

"We've been together seven years." 

"Including one summer I remember you shagging every bird in sight," Sirius pointed out. 

"We broke up for a few months. That didn't matter," James said. He then saw that Remus had entered the room. "Morning, are you hungry?" 

"Sorry to interrupt," Remus said, walking slowly towards them. Sirius turned around and looked at him. 

"You're not interrupting," Sirius said. "Jamie here is going to go and ask Lily to marry him so he can ruin his life." 

"I'm not ruining my life," James said, pulling a blue flower patterned plate out for Remus. 

"Nothing against, Lily," Sirius said. "I love her, I really do. But _marriage_?"

"Shut it or you won't be my best man," James snapped at him. Sirius's head snapped up in surprise, and he grinned at James. 

"You'll make me your best man no matter how much I object." 

James nodded resigning himself to the fact that Sirius had been like his own brother for so many years. 

"Where is Lily?" Remus asked, taking his seat. 

"Sleeping," James answered. 

"What time did you two get up?" 

"Five," they both said in unison. 

"That's early. Why?" Remus asked. 

"We had to go get the flowers for the damned party," Sirius said. 

"With no evening prayers or history class to sleep through, you must be tired," Remus said evenly, but James and Sirius chuckled. 

"That's a reason to go back to church or school," Sirius said. "No, I'm not too bad. Never required too much sleep anyway." 

"A key to your success, no doubt, and yours, James," Remus said raising his coffee cup in salute to Sirius and James. Sirius chewed and swallowed his last piece of toast and raised his own cup in return.

"Indeed," Sirius replied. 

"Remus, you have to go over to the main house this morning. My dad's friend is there and he's a tailor. He's going to take some extra dress clothing I have and put a new hem in the trousers. Everything else should fit you fine, but the trousers will be too long," James said. 

"You have an extra dinner jacket?" Remus asked. 

"No, I have three extras," James said then looked down. "My mum likes to buy me one every year."

"Always mummy's widdow baby," Sirius teased. "See, you don't need to get married. Your mum still dresses you. You don’t need a wife for that." 

"He doesn't need a wife for what?" Lily said entering the kitchen. 

"To fuck him," Sirius said. "I told him you'd do that for him no matter what." 

"It's a wonder you're single," Lily said as James handed her a cup of coffee. Sirius didn't retort but winked at Lily instead. 

After breakfast Sirius offered to walk over to the house with Remus while he got his trousers fitted. They walked along the garden path, which led from the small guesthouse to the kitchen door of the large main house. 

"You didn't have to come," Remus said. 

"Wanted to make sure you were safe," Sirius said. "Mr. Potter's friend has the tendency to measure your inseam a little too high. With me of course it's almost impossible for any tailor to avoid." 

"Because you have the huge cock," Remus snorted. 

"You're making me blush, Moony. You remember." Remus began to laugh harder. "Anyway," Sirius continued, "I'm not going to let some depraved old man get his hands on you. If anyone's touching your balls this weekend it's me."

~~~**~~~

Remus had the tendency to forget that Sirius was all class and impeccable breeding. Even though his relationship with the majority of his family had been nonexistent since he was fifteen, you could still see the noble bloodline from which he came.

Sirius looked dashing as he effortlessly twirled old lady after old lady across the dance floor. They smiled like they were helpless schoolgirls in his strong arms as he flirted with them and made them laugh. He even had this effect on Lily, who knew him better than any other woman, when he danced with her. She blushed and looked demure in his arms. 

Remus took a long drink of his champagne as he felt his cock harden as he watched Sirius. The way his dinner jacket fell across his back, displaying the broadness of his shoulders. The line of his trousers down his long leg, cut perfectly across his arse. The song ended and Sirius tossed his head back, his dark hair falling back from his brow, his eyes shining bright. 

The band took a break and put on some pre-recorded music. The dance floor began to clear. Sirius led his partner, James's mum, back to her husband. Remus lost sight of him for a moment in the crowd. Remus then caught a glimpse of him with his hand on the back of a serving girl as she led him through one of the doors to the marquee.

Remus felt a pang of jealousy watching this girl go with Sirius. He wanted to be the one who left the party with him. His stomach twisted horribly at the thought, and Remus hated himself for it. Sirius owed him nothing. 

The song on the recorded music changed, and a few couples ventured onto the floor. They were more comfortable with the slow Beatles tune. He looked at Mr. and Mrs. Potter dancing happily together. They looked at one another as if this were their wedding day with their whole lives ahead of them. Remus found that beautiful. 

"Champagne?" someone whispered breathily in Remus's ear. He turned to see Sirius holding two unopened bottles in his hands. 

"Certainly," Remus smiled at him. 

"Outside then." Sirius gestured and Remus stood to follow. Remus heard the last lyrics of the song as he walked out of the marquee. _In my life I love you more_.

They walked side by side from the brightness of the front lawn round the back of the cottage, where it was dark and quiet. 

"You look handsome in your new threads," Sirius said, looking sideways at Remus. 

"Fits rather nicely," Remus said, straightening his tie. "I don't look as good as you." Sirius gave Remus his crooked smile, which he had always liked best. 

They sat on the steps to the flagstone patio. Side by side each drinking their own bottle of champagne. The warmth of the alcohol belied the cool spring night air. They laughed together, telling stories from when they were boys and some from their time apart. They leaned closer and closer together. 

Before the champagne was halfway gone, their arms were around one another, their lips pressing hard into one another. Remus fingers were laced in Sirius's dark hair. Sirius's hands were under Remus's jacket, slowly pulling up his shirt. 

"We can't now," Remus said, pulling away reluctantly. "We have to go back to the party for James's toast." 

"Yeah, okay," Sirius said breathlessly. "Hold me for a minute?" 

"Yes," Remus said. 

Sirius moved one step down from Remus, moving himself between Remus's legs. He leaned his head back, coming to rest against Remus's chest. Remus wrapped his arms snugly around him. Remus looked down at Sirius's long legs stretched out in front of him. He loved those legs. They both looked up into the twinkling night sky. 

"Moon looks lovely tonight, _Moony_ ," Sirius said with a sort of laugh. "You still wake up with the moon sometimes?"

"Not so much. But as I said, the nickname is still okay. You ever go around in secret, never getting caught, with a nose for sniffing out trouble?"

"Not lately," Sirius replied. "I missed you, Moony." 

"I missed you, Padfoot." Remus laid his cheek on the crown of Sirius's head. He breathed deeply, taking in the scent that was this perfect man. He lifted his head and looked back up in the sky. 

"Venus is out tonight," Sirius commented. 

"People used to think it was a star since it always looked the same in the sky. You know, because of Venus's rotation and Earth's rotation we only ever see one side of it," Remus said. "We never get to see the whole planet. Can't really understand it if we can't see the whole thing." 

They were silent for a long while, until James opened up the back door, finding them outside together. 

'There you are," James said. "I've been looking everywhere. Come on, you have to come back now." 

Sirius stood, then reached down for Remus's hand and pulled him up. 

"When'd you learn all that rubbish about Venus?" Sirius asked. 

"School. Don't you remember?" Remus asked. Sirius chuckled at the question. 

They followed James through the dark house as a shortcut back to the party, tucking their shirts in and straightening their ties as they did so. Before they entered the marquee, Sirius whispered in Remus's ear to meet him after the speeches on the steps. 

A new song had just begun as they entered the tent. Mrs. Potter saw the three of them entering and motioned at Remus to come and dance with her. He politely obliged her. 

"I'm not as good as Sirius," he warned her. 

"I don't expect anyone is," she laughed. "Even my sweet Henry was never that good, though he swears to God and Jesus that he was." 

Remus slowly led her around the floor as they made polite small talk about the party, the food and some of the guests. The song was almost over when Mrs. Potter began to tell Remus how nice it was to have him back. 

"I don't think I have seen you since before Sirius's accident," she said. 

"When was that?" Remus asked. 

"Oh, beginning of the autumn I think, just after you boys started Oxford. Laid that motorcycle of his right across road. Poor dear. Broke his leg, bruised his jaw pretty badly. The gravel ripped right through his leather jacket took the skin almost clean off his elbow. You remember; he was in the hospital for a few days." 

"Right," Remus said, nodding. 

"He was scared out of his wits. When we went to visit him he'd been crying, we could tell. Poor dear. Didn't ride that thing again for I don't know how long." Mrs. Potter paused. The words circled in Remus's head. 

It had happened just after he left. He was the reason it happened, for Sirius doing something so dangerous. 

"Now he's happy. Just like our James," Mrs. Potter said brightly. "Everything is forgotten and he's moved on." 

The song ended, and Remus's escorted Mrs. Potter from the floor as she told him once again how happy she was he was back and that she hoped he stayed.

~~~**~~~

Remus stood alone in the dark, waiting for Sirius. Mrs. Potter's words echoing in his head. Sirius was happy now, he was doing well. Remus was happy for him but his heart ached all the same.

He had never stopped loving Sirius all these years; not one word to one another and his love never stopped. He thought of him constantly, even picked up the phone once or twice to call, but never did.

Sirius finally came around the back of the house, his face brightened when he saw Remus waiting. It was like a punch in the stomach to Remus. He couldn't do this with Sirius. It was unfair to both of them. 

"Let's go to the boathouse," Sirius said, reaching for him. 

"I can't," Remus stepped back.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, concerned. 

"I'm leaving tomorrow. You're leaving tomorrow. We can't go and have a shag in the boat house and then never see each other again," Remus said. 

"Come with me," Sirius said, as if the solution were that easy. 

"Where?" 

"Come and live with me. Come home with me tomorrow. You don't have to leave our life again." 

"I have responsibilities," Remus said. 

"You can write anywhere. Come with me, we'll work it out," Sirius urged. 

"I have to go," Remus said, pushing past Sirius and walking away as quickly as he could. 

"You're very good at walking away!" Sirius said viciously behind him. "Easier than having to deal with life, I suppose." 

Remus wanted to turn around and rage at Sirius. Hit the smug expression from his face, silence his jeering mouth. But he couldn't because more than that he wanted to love him. He wanted them to go to the boathouse and be together. Remus walked away, willing his heart not to break again and willing Sirius to go on with his happy life. 

He couldn't even give him a mercy fuck. 

_Mercy fuck._ That's what Sirius had called their last time together as Remus had boarded his train home. "Thanks for the mercy fuck, mate." That's what he had said. 

Remus thought of when he left, it was so much worse then. 

_Sirius had found him packing. "Why are you packing? We're moving_ in _, not out." Sirius smiled at him._

_"My dad died," Remus said flatly, continuing his packing._

_"Oh, God," Sirius said, "Fuck, Remus, I'm so sorry." He went to hug Remus, but Remus shrugged him away._

_"Leave room in your bag," Sirius said, going over to his wardrobe, "We'll share."  
Remus stopped packing at this. _

_"You're coming with me?"_

_"I wouldn't let you go do all that funeral shit alone."_

_"No, Sirius. I'm leaving."_

_"You're not leaving. Term started yesterday," Sirius said with disbelief._

_"My dad left my mum with some debts. Some men came to her flat last night telling her that she needed to pay them."_

_"What men? Who?" Sirius demanded._

_"East End mafia, you know. The people he's been tangled up with for years. Has a mountain of gambling debts."_

_"That doesn't explain why you're leaving," Sirius said stubbornly._

_"I have to pay his debts. I need a job. My mother can't make enough money to pay them. Do you know what they'll do to her if I don't help?" Remus said, feeling his anger rise. "My scars aren't beauty marks."_

_"I know that!" Sirius shot back._

_Thy both turned away from one another in a huff. Then Sirius turned back and walked swiftly to Remus._

_"Remus let me pay the debt," he whispered his voice intent._

_"What?" Remus stammered._

_'"Let me pay. I have the money."_

_"What, so then I can owe you?" Remus said sarcastically._

_"No. You can pay me back whenever, once you have a job." Sirius pulled at Remus's arm. "You don't have to pay me back ever."_

_"No."_

_"Why not? I have the money. Let me help."_

_"I can't let my friends bail me out of a situation that's my own," Remus said evenly._

_"It's not your bloody situation! It's your damned father's," Sirius shouted._

_"Do not blame him!"_

_"Who the hell am I to blame then?" Sirius shot back. "You can take my money, I don't give a rat's arse about it."_

_"You know, Sirius, life isn't easy for us all. You can't throw money at any problem you see or thing you don't like," Remus said coldly._

_"What? I just want you here. With me."_

_"I am not a play thing you can buy with your money! And it's not even your money. It's your family's'!"_

_"My family doesn't give a shit about me," Sirius replied angrily._

_"Then your uncle's. We don't all have relations that live in Kensington. You should know not all of us can get through life on money, charm and the right last name. I have worked my arse off every day to get to where I am! I worked my arse off for Eton; I worked it off to come here. I can't keep doing it! I will not be your own personal scholarship. I won't have someone else paying my way in life. I have to take this responsibility for myself!"_

_"Fuck off, Remus," Sirius said coldly. "If that's what you think this is and not because we're friends and I care about you, then fuck off. Take your stuff and get the hell out, run home to save your mummy. Even though she never did a God damned thing to save you."_

_"Friends? Is that what we are?" Remus asked his voice tight._

_"Not any more," Sirius left the room._

_The next morning before Remus left, he and Sirius shagged in the early morning silence. After they were both sated, Sirius held onto him, asking him one more time to stay. Remus didn't answer but got up to dress._

_Sirius silently took him to the train station. He didn't speak until he grabbed Moony right before he boarded his train._

_"Please, Moony? Let me," Sirius said pleading with him._

_"I can't," Remus said._

_Remus boarded the train that was to take him south. He heard Sirius yell after him, "Thanks for the mercy fuck, mate."_

It was better this way. Remus would always love Sirius and if Sirius had ever loved him, it had stopped a long time ago.

~~~**~~~

When Remus had returned to the guesthouse, Lily and James were asleep but Sirius's bed remained untouched. Remus got in the bed, thinking that Sirius had found some bird to shag.

It was just before sunrise when Remus woke. Sirius lay on his stomach in his own bed, asleep. Remus quietly got out of his bed to look out the window at the soft morning light. He pushed it open to smell the fresh morning air. He turned from the window to look at Sirius again. He was awake. Their eyes met, and to Remus's surprise Sirius's looked forlorn. 

"Come and get in bed with me," Sirius said softly, moving over to make room for Remus. 

Remus was about to say no when Sirius cut him off. "It doesn't matter. Just once won't hurt. Come and be with me. I want you." 

Remus couldn't resist. He had always loved loving Sirius in the morning. 

They kissed slowly at first, allowing their bodies to sink into one another. Remus pulled off his pants and then Sirius's. Every inch of Sirius's sleep-warmed flesh brushed Remus's cooler skin.

Remus let his hands trace down Sirius's body, feeling the firmness of his muscle, the sharp angle of his hips. He traced his finger from Sirius's navel down to his prick. Remus wrapped his hand slowly around Sirius's cock and felt the silky hardness of it. He smiled, thinking of the dark as night hair from Sirius's belly to his balls, and how his cock still felt incredible in his hand after all this time.

Their kiss broke; Sirius cupped the back of Remus's head looking at him with desperation before bringing their lips together again. Sirius groaned into the kiss, and Remus heard a happy sigh coming from his own throat Sirius traced Remus' lips with his tongue before fully parting them and sliding his tongue into his mouth.

Sirius rolled his body on top of Remus's, rubbing their erections together. Sirius dropped his knee between Remus's thighs, pushing them apart. Making room to rock their bodies together more easily. Remus arched into him, wanting their hips to meet. 

Remus had fleeting thoughts of lube and Sirius slowly fucking him. He would have gladly let him, but they both knew there was something comfortable about their bodies touching in this way. 

He naturally spread his legs wider, raising them to rest on Sirius's hips as their bodies moved together. Their aching cocks making passes and rubs at one another. 

They both began to groan and breathe heavily. Sirius kissed Remus lightly, running his hands down his body, stopping and holding him firmly at the waist. 

Remus gripped at his back, feeling the flex of his muscles under his touch. Sirius's breath over his skin as hot and tinged with what must have been a night's worth of drinking and tobacco. 

Their bodies were slicked in sweat, and they rubbed together with growing anticipation. 

Their pace sped, and Remus felt his balls tighten as Sirius's cock throbbed and pushed harder than it had before. Sirius’s body quivered and pulsed under his touch, and Remus could feel energy of Sirius about to come. 

"God! FUCK! Jesus! Moony," Sirius said over and over again as he came. 

Sirius's body heat and his come spreading across Remus's body was blissful; the pleasure of it all brought white lights behind his eyes as he came. 

Sirius lay on top of Remus, allowing their breathing to slow. He eventually slid to one side and settled himself into Remus's side. 

The cool morning air wafted through the window Remus had left open. It felt especially cold on their sweaty skin. Remus shivered slightly. Sirius pulled the covers up over them, keeping them protected and warm.

Remus ran his hand down Sirius's arm, lightly brushing his skin. His hand traced near his elbow and he could suddenly feel the raised scars on his skin. 

"Like my scar?" Sirius asked. 

"Just feeling it," Remus said softly. 

"I got in a motorcycle accident, pretty ugly thing." 

"I heard," Remus barely said. "Just a little bit though." 

"It was two weeks after you left," Sirius began. "Worst two weeks of my life. James had to drag me to class to make sure I didn't get low marks or get kicked out. I thought about you, thought I saw you everywhere. Didn't wash my clothes because I thought they'd lose the scent of you and I couldn't bear to lose everything at once." 

"That bad?" 

"Worse," Sirius said. "James made me stay at his place because he was certain I'd off myself given the chance."

"You wouldn't have. You're not that way," Remus said with confidence. 

"You don't know me without you," Sirius said back. Remus wanted to say how stupid Sirius was for thinking something like that. He didn't take his life away or betray him; it wasn't that bad. "Probably wouldn't have done it though. James would have killed me for even thinking about it."

"I was sitting in class and something made me think of you. Not the normal 'I never stop thinking of you.' The 'you and me' you. I left; I was going to come get you back or die trying. I got to my bike and it was raining, as usual. It didn't stop me. I had never ridden so fast. I felt free, like I would get to you and it would all be better. It started raining harder, sheets of rain falling as I rode. I thought about showing up on your step soaked and you peeling my clothes off me. Then for a moment I thought, what if you really didn't want me? If you didn't love me like I loved you. My world flipped and I lost control of my bike. Broke my leg, fucked up my jaw and my arm. Not bad but enough to know. I knew I had almost died trying, so not to try again. I wanted to let it go in the hospital, let you go. I was so in love with you then." 

It was quiet. Remus didn't know what to say. He was sorry for hurting Sirius, sorry for not understanding him and thinking he was a selfish boy who wanted him around for selfish reasons. 

"I didn't know any of that," Remus said, his voice feeling thick. 

"I should have told you I loved you. Then maybe you would have stayed and things would be different now." 

"I was stubborn. I wouldn't listen. It's my fault," Remus said. "But it's done. We are both happy now," Remus heard himself lying. He didn't think after hearing what Sirius told him that he could ever be happy again. He had ruined his life by not seeing the whole of it, thinking he understood him when he only knew a fraction. 

"I'm not happy, Moony." Sirius said. "I could never be happy unless I have you. I haven't stopped loving you. Please don’t leave me again."

~~~**~~~

Remus hugged Lily good-bye and shook James's hand. He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked to the gravel drive. Sirius's car sat there but he wasn't in it. He heard a whistle and looked further down the drive. He saw Sirius sitting astride his motorcycle.

"What about the car?" he yelled at Sirius. 

"James and Lily are taking it!" 

Remus walked over to the bike, feeling a bit overcome with the feelings the bike stirred. Sirius looked perfect sitting on the chrome and black masterpiece. "You are allowing James to take _your car_?" 

"Have to. I would never let him take this," Sirius said patting the bike. 

"Is this the same one as before?" Remus asked, touching the seat behind Sirius. 

"She has a scar or two, but she's just as good as she was."

"And you?" 

"Better." 

"Let's go home then," Remus said, climbing on behind Sirius. 

Sirius kicked the motorcycle to a start, and it rumbled and shook beneath them. He drove them slowly to the end of the drive, stopping to check for cars then turned the bike onto the road. He sped up, quickly taking them north again.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Afternoon Of](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17036843) by [gryffindorJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryffindorJ/pseuds/gryffindorJ)




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